Having negative thoughts during the day is normal, there is no mind that does not process negative thoughts. This is because we live in an environment that sends us stimuli that can generate discomfort and stress. For example, let’s think about dramatic or alert news on television, social media that direct our attention towards what we don’t have and what we would like to have, or towards what we would like to be and are not, conflict situations with people at home or at work , economic difficulties, personal or professional problems, fear for our loved ones, the past that returns with feelings of guilt and unresolved situations.

If it is true that negative thoughts are a common aspect of the mind, it is also true that it is essential to mitigate the effects that these can have on our state of mind, our behaviours and our choices.

In this article we will try to explain how THOUGHTS CREATE EFFECTS and how these can change the direction of our lives.

How negative thoughts about yourself affect self-esteem

When we have negative thoughts about ourselves, we generate feelings of insecurity, feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. These negative thoughts directed towards us can influence our behaviour by making us avoid certain situations or opportunities because we don’t believe in ourselves and in our abilities. These thoughts of insecurity about ourselves prevent us from manifesting more for us.

How negative thoughts create emotional reactivity

Some negative thoughts have a deeper emotional impact within us and consequently create more reactive behaviours. When we are stressed or anxious, we produce more negative thoughts which in turn amplify those feelings that make us react to attack, escape, and defence from external stimuli. For example, when faced with a performance, a negative thought such as “I’ll screw this up” could cause the person to react strongly to any criticism or feedback.

How negative thoughts hold back our choices and actions

Another way negative thoughts can affect our behaviour is through procrastination. For example, if we have sabotaging or negative thoughts about an activity or project we need to get done, we can feel overwhelmed or hopeless. This psycho-emotional state can lead to procrastination, as we try to avoid dealing with the negative emotions associated with the task. For example, if a project seems too difficult for us, we might put off work until the last minute or avoid it altogether.

How negative thoughts create self-sabotaging behaviours

You may not be fully aware of it, but some negative thoughts can lead to self-sabotaging mechanisms and behaviours. When we have negative thoughts about ourselves, these thoughts can lead us to their unintentional realization. In fact, without realizing it, by focusing on what doesn’t work, on failures and on what you want to avoid, you end up exactly where you don’t want to go. We unconsciously engage in behaviours that reinforce our negative beliefs, creating corresponding behaviours, such as not doing our best or not seeking opportunities for growth and improvement. For example, if a person thinks s/he is not good enough to start her/his own business, s/he won’t work in that direction and by focusing on failure s/he will demonstrate to her/himself that the negative belief it’s true.

What can we do to hinder negative thoughts?

Although negative thoughts can have a significant impact on our behaviours, choices, and emotions, we can embark on a path of personal development to learn how to manage thoughts and emotions, how to transform them and mitigate their effects.

To work on yourself you can read books, you can attend courses, or you can take advantage of the support of a coach who helps you take the reins of your inner world. The coach helps you access your resources and self-program winning schemes both mentally and emotionally.

To take the first steps in the direction of personal transformation and free yourself from disempowering thoughts, here are some suggestions:

1. Observe and identify negative thoughts as an outside observer and do not judge yourself. Simply observe your reactions, your behaviours, your thoughts. In the act of observing yourself, you will already begin to transform. Physics shows that the observer modifies, transforms reality. So, allow yourself to observe and to change something to improve yourself. One step at a time!
2. Practice self-compassion. When you have negative thoughts about yourself, try to respond to them with kindness and understanding. Treat yourself as you would treat a friend who is going through a difficult time.
3. Focus on solutions, not problems. Instead of dwelling on negative thoughts and feelings, try to focus on finding solutions to the problems you are facing.
4. Look for support. Talk to a professional, remember that friends and family give you answers based on their subjective experiences and they are not objective. Compare yourself with a professional. If you can, try to find a neuro emotional coach, and learn concretely how to transform your negative emotions and thoughts.

If you think you are ready to start a personal growth journey with a professional, you can contact the Quantasia Coaching centre in Lugano, Ticino, and you can speak to an expert in Neuro Emotional Education who can guide you in choosing the most suitable path for your growth!